What would you do if you discovered your roommate has been going through your personal things and borrowing your sex toys for his (or her) pleasure?
That is the shocking discovery one couple made when they returned home early from a movie date, only to catch their roommate red-handed pleasuring himself with their sex toys.
The shocked girlfriend detailed the embarrassing ordeal on Reddit in a post titled: “Roommate’s Been Stealing Our Sex Toys.”
My boyfriend and I started using sex toys about a year ago, which was a huge step for me because I’ve always been kind of embarrassed about sexuality. I’ve always been too embarrassed to even partake in “solo” activities, and held onto my virginity until college when I got my first “real” boyfriend… So when it comes to the toys, I make sure they get hidden underneath stuff in a drawer. For quite a while I felt SUPER paranoid about people finding them/seeing them. But I’ve grown a lot more comfortable with my sexuality since we started using the toys, and I’ve been feeling less paranoid lately.
Last December, I went to Mexico with my boyfriend and his family. We had one vibrator at that point and left it at home in his bedroom – when we got back a week later and opened the drawer to take it out, it was snapped in half! What the hell? How did it break itself in half by sitting in the drawer untouched for a week? It looked like it had been stepped on, or something else that would require it to be taken out while we were away. I asked my boyfriend if it could have been his roommate, who happened to go into his room regularly to borrow things (phone charger, etc) – after a moment of “wow, that would be a really weird thing to do, what an invasion of privacy!” we swept it under the rug and ignored it.
Months and months passed without another “strange incident” like that.
But last night, we went out to watch a movie with some friends. When we got home, we knocked on that same roommate’s bedroom door to ask if he could put his leftover food away in the kitchen so we could make our dinner in the pan he had used. When boyfriend opened the door to poke his head in, I saw something at the foot of roomie’s bed… It was a tube of my face lotion, our (newer, unbroken) vibrator and a butt plug that we recently picked up to try out on boyfriend.
I was horrified! Mortified! Maybe he wasn’t expecting us home so soon? But, um, what the ACTUAL F*CK?! My first thought was “this is a weird dream, I must still be more paranoid than I thought!” But I snapped out of it pretty quick and when I came back to reality I immediately felt shame and humiliation wash over me. He knows what we use. He USES what we use.
When we walked away/got out of ear shot, I asked boyfriend if he had seen what was on roomie’s bed. He said no, and I told him what I saw. He checked the drawer in our room and sure enough, our stuff was gone! When roomie went down to the kitchen, I looked across the hall and his door was open. I saw that he had thrown a blanket over the foot of his bed, so I silently flew in there and peeked under it. Everything was still there, so I panicked and took it back!
Boyfriend and I hid in our room for a bit and discussed what our next move should be – we were both completely shocked and a bit freaked out. But most of all, I was embarrassed. I felt completely shattered in that moment, and I also couldn’t help but imagine how roomie must be feeling (He had gone back into his room by now; if he knew to cover it with a blanket before leaving, he probably checked on it when he went back in)
In the end, we decided to confront him. We walked across the hall and knocked on his door. When we entered, he was turned away, crying, and he said he couldn’t even look at us cause he felt so guilty. Boyfriend said he could keep the toys cause we were kind of over them now, and he said he’d pay us for them. He said he had nothing to say for himself except that he was very sorry.
All is forgiven, we don’t want him to move out or anything and we still love the guy – but it feels weird to me.
Roomie and I still haven’t spoken or looked each other in the eye (we both hid from each other all day while boyfriend was away), and he left about an hour ago with his backpack so I assume he’ll be gone for a little while (if not overnight)
What should we do about this/has anyone else had a similar experience?
TL;DR Our roommate has been using our sex toys, last night we found out by seeing them in his bedroom. We’re all tense and embarrassed now – advice/experiences?
Commenters left hundreds of replies to help comfort and advise the couple. One user wrote:
He’s clearly the embarrassed one, and rightly so. This situation really needs to be hashed out between the 3 of you. Be assertive and confident with this. You and your boyfriend aren’t the ones in the spot light for this situation.
Another Redditor had this theory:
He was going through your drawers, the toys….but also your face lotion.
Which probably is what you smell like.
I feel like this could be a different issue. A lot of people have mentioned fetishes, embarrassment about buying his own toys, etc. But what if it comes down to something else? Maybe he’s taking these things because they remind him of you. I doubt he had any inclination that the butt plug was intended for your boyfriend.
I don’t want to freak you out about it. I just mean that it has been known for a friend to fall for a friend’s S/O.
How would you have handled this awkward situation? Let us know in the comment section below.