Snooping Wife Finds Husband’s Stash Of Gay Porn On Laptop: “Should I Stay Or Leave Him?”

While snooping on her husband’s open laptop, a wife discovered her “wonderful and loving husband’s” stash of gay porn.

She took to Reddit to seek some answers on how she should move forward after the shocking discovery:

I have been married to my husband for nine years, have known him since highschool. I am 31 and he is 33. We have three children together and he is a wonderful and loving husband.

Our internet speed has been very slow and I couldn’t watch a youtube video. I found my husband’s laptop propped open and he had torrents running on it. I found that he was downloading gay porn. I never snooped on his laptop before but then I checked his downloads folder and there was tons of it. I don’t know what to do about this.

Never in my life has he ever acted in a way I’d imagine to be gay. We have a great sex life considering we are married with three children. I don’t ever see him crossing over too much on his male friend relationships. He has always been the kind of a womanizer type guy, so I don’t know why he has this on his computer.

He is a reserved guy, and I bet if I was to confront him about this he’d just close up completely. Is it best in my case to just ignore this and continue living in the dark or should I confront him about this?

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The advice poured in from the Reddit community. One user wrote:

Straight women watch gay porn, too. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. But, for a straight guy to seek out gay porn when gay anything can still be stigmatized, it is intriguing.

It’s possible that your husband is a Kinsey Scale 0 (i.e., totally straight) and he’s getting off on the taboo aspect of it. Sometimes, regular porn doesn’t get the job done, and you find yourself looking at increasingly hardcore things until you get off, only to wonder “what the hell was I thinking, looking at midget amputee porn?”
Or, he’s a Kinsey scale 1 or 2 (mostly straight), and is nursing his same-sex interests in a quiet and private manner.

If you didn’t violate his trust by looking at his laptop, talk to him about it. Don’t “confront” him unless you have a problem with porn, full stop. If you did violate his trust, however, you might want to drop it.

Another wrote:

It sounds like he’s slightly bisexual, not gay. If you guys have a great sex life, then he likes women. Being bisexual is pretty common.
All men watch porn. Usually lots of weird stuff, from what I understand. Watching porn is pretty common. Not sharing it all with your wife is pretty common.

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The only thing that’s difficult here is that you found out what weird porn he’s watching and you’re upset about it. Given that nothing about the situation is actually very unusual, and that your marriage is otherwise healthy, I would say let it go.

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One user hit upon the real issue facing the distraught wife: “Trust is the real issue here, not sexual orientation, or interpretation of how/why this man looks at gay porn.”

“Sexuality, even male sexuality, is so much more fluid than most assume,” writes another redditor. “For example, two of my straight male friends had a same sex relationship in high-school. They are both open minded, clear headed guys, who nurtured sexual feelings for each other for a short period in time. After a few months of dating, they decided it wasn’t for them, and they both went back to being the womanizers they were before. So my point is, this doesn’t make her husband a gay man in any way. Labels such as “straight” or “gay” oversimplify a very complex and dynamic issue. An otherwise “straight” guy getting into gay porn is not necessarily a problem.”

Should she stay or should she go. Let us know below in the comments section.